America the Anxious: Why Our Search for Happiness is Driving Us Crazy and How to Find It for Real, by Ruth Whippman

I love, love, love this book! Not only is Ruth hilarious(I feel that we're now on a first name basis, since my bookstore hosted her for an event), but she cuts right through to the core of what's wrong with the American obsession with happiness. She's qualified on two fronts: as a Brit who moved to California and suddenly became immersed in a wholly new culture, and as a journalist with published articles and documentaries. What strikes her so strongly upon her move to the U.S. is how constantly people talk about happiness, but how few people seem to be legitimately happy. Underneath all this is her discomfort about the self-help industry and how much money it takes in by convincing people they aren't happy enough and that only this one person or book can make you better.

There's a lot of meat here, and Ruth gets right down to it by looking at a boatload of studies on happiness. There are literally thousands, and they all seem to say different things. However, there is one thing across every study that is proven to create happiness and well-being: community and social interaction. Interestingly, American - now global - self-help movements all focus on the individual as completely responsible for his or her own happiness, going so far as to say that your circumstances have almost nothing to do with happiness, and any bad feelings you might have are entirely your own fault. This is, Ruth goes on to prove, an inherently right-wing conservative view of human nature. The idea that each person is 100% responsible for his or her own success in life is a profoundly Calvinist, American, Republican attitude. It utterly discounts the fact that being born into systemic poverty might have anything to do with how happy you are, and ignores all the scientific evidence that shows having a strong social support system is integral to human happiness. While I didn't start reading this book expecting to get yet another example of why socialist democracies do things better, I certainly ended up with one!

Along the way, Ruth discusses how the pressure to be happy, and to make your children happy, is creating the opposite effect. Being told you are the sole reason for your own misery is demoralizing. Insisting that your children witness and receive only positivity and few challenges seems to have created a generation that is so anxiety-ridden that most college students are unable to handle their own lives without medication or therapy or both. While Ruth learns that Mormons are the happiest group of people in America, she also finds out that they have the highest anti-depressant use in the nation. I can say that I personally felt relief to learn that I'm not crazy for thinking a little negativity isn't a bad thing, or that being lonely and sad is not, in fact, all my fault. It hammers home what I've suspected for a long time, that being around people is actually the best thing for you (though a little alone time is important as well). This is a seriously enjoyable book to read, and an absolute eye-opener at how our basic desire for happiness is being exploited by people with questionable intentions, and a reminder to always consider that one size does not fit all.


Relax...

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